There is Hope for me yet

I don't know if this is completely true or not,  but at this point in my life, I can't handle as much as most people.  I get stressed out easily and my body reacts in a whole bunch of funky ways.  I have always been a sensitive person.  As a child I would cry endlessly.  Thankfully, I don't cry much anymore, unless I am really stressed out, which described my life just a few short months ago.

Taking a year to do School of Ministry made me forget what "real" school was like, not to say that Bible school was a walk in the park but it was difficult in different ways.  I went from a small, safe place where grace abounds to a heartless pressure cooker where there are thousands of students packed in, like grains of rice<--haha I may be exaggerating just a tad.

Anyway, I was ready to go back but I wasn't prepared.  I had almost 20 hrs/week scheduled to work and then scheduled on-call the other days.  I had fifteen credits to conquer in difficult and time-consuming classes as I entered into the dietetics program.  I also volunteered to do an international student group outreach.  In theory, I would have a lot on my plate but "I could handle it" and it wasn't too much.

I was wrong about that one  Stress plagued me 24/7.  I was even stressed when I wasn't stressed.  I lost passion for my major and my future career.  I lost drive for pursuing God.  I felt like a failure.  I broke down in tears at least once every week.  I was even stressing out my roommates and everyone else around me.  Yes, stress is contagious.  I was going down in flames and every part of my life caught fire.

What did I do about it???

I was on the ground in a pool of hopeless tears when I knew I had to drop my ministry commitment to internationals.  That brought on stresses of it's own, such as guilt.  God has shown me grace.  I know that I won't be committing to any ministry in the future unless I know it is a season that I can actually be a usable vessel for God.

After consulting with my parents and realizing that I needed to set boundaries at work, I dropped my hours down to just 3 specific days/week and not on-call.  This significantly eased my stress because now, I actually  had a couple days during daylight to focus on homework instead of doing HW at crazy hours after 9pm or before 8am every day.

I was so happy to be done by the end of the term and desperately needed the break.

This term, I am doing things differently.  I realize that I am in control of my own life and need to make decisions that are conducive to the best life that I can live.  I am recognizing how much havoc stress has wreaked on my body and I refuse to let that continue to happen.  Choices I'm making this term,

-Working 2 days a week on weekends

-Reading my Bible every day(in a non-legalistic way)

-Taking 12 credits

-Writing down what I need to do in a realistic time frame

-Making Sunday a Sabbath day

-Taking time to reflect/journal/blog

-Reading leisurely before bed rather than facebooking

-Making time for and bringing more focus to relationships

-Taking time to clean and organize

Here is the recipe for my own personal success.  Life is meant to be enjoyed.  After week 1 of the term, I can honestly say that I love my life.  I'm not looking forward to the weekend.  I am looking forward to TODAY.  It is going to be a great day!