Taking a year to do School of Ministry made me forget what "real" school was like, not to say that Bible school was a walk in the park but it was difficult in different ways. I went from a small, safe place where grace abounds to a heartless pressure cooker where there are thousands of students packed in, like grains of rice<--haha I may be exaggerating just a tad.
Anyway, I was ready to go back but I wasn't prepared. I had almost 20 hrs/week scheduled to work and then scheduled on-call the other days. I had fifteen credits to conquer in difficult and time-consuming classes as I entered into the dietetics program. I also volunteered to do an international student group outreach. In theory, I would have a lot on my plate but "I could handle it" and it wasn't too much.
I was wrong about that one Stress plagued me 24/7. I was even stressed when I wasn't stressed. I lost passion for my major and my future career. I lost drive for pursuing God. I felt like a failure. I broke down in tears at least once every week. I was even stressing out my roommates and everyone else around me. Yes, stress is contagious. I was going down in flames and every part of my life caught fire.
What did I do about it???
I was on the ground in a pool of hopeless tears when I knew I had to drop my ministry commitment to internationals. That brought on stresses of it's own, such as guilt. God has shown me grace. I know that I won't be committing to any ministry in the future unless I know it is a season that I can actually be a usable vessel for God.
After consulting with my parents and realizing that I needed to set boundaries at work, I dropped my hours down to just 3 specific days/week and not on-call. This significantly eased my stress because now, I actually had a couple days during daylight to focus on homework instead of doing HW at crazy hours after 9pm or before 8am every day.
I was so happy to be done by the end of the term and desperately needed the break.
This term, I am doing things differently. I realize that I am in control of my own life and need to make decisions that are conducive to the best life that I can live. I am recognizing how much havoc stress has wreaked on my body and I refuse to let that continue to happen. Choices I'm making this term,
-Working 2 days a week on weekends
-Reading my Bible every day(in a non-legalistic way)
-Taking 12 credits
-Writing down what I need to do in a realistic time frame
-Making Sunday a Sabbath day
-Taking time to reflect/journal/blog
-Reading leisurely before bed rather than facebooking
-Making time for and bringing more focus to relationships
-Taking time to clean and organize
Here is the recipe for my own personal success. Life is meant to be enjoyed. After week 1 of the term, I can honestly say that I love my life. I'm not looking forward to the weekend. I am looking forward to TODAY. It is going to be a great day!
