Bible Neglect.

Lately, I haven't felt like reading my Bible.  Periods of my personal "Bible neglect" start with me just being incredibly busy and thinking about every single thing I need to do in a day ( Not good).  After a couple of days of this, then I just start getting lazy and thinking, 'Oh, I'll just pray.' or 'I'll read it in the morning.'  I start believing lies like, "I won't remember what I read anyway."  or "I need sleep more right now" or "I won't find anything relevant to my life."

So, as I neglect my Bible that is when I feel overwhelmed and as if life itself is crashing in all around my little world.  That's what happened this week.

I move tomorrow and "overwhelmed" has been the defining word of my life this week, as you'll see in my most recent post. 

You'll also find a prayer to my Father. A cry for help and a surrender of all of my worries to Him.

God wasted no time at all to answer my prayer. :D

The next day, my wonderful friend, whom I cherish very much came to visit me in Corvy:) ..well, she was actually job/house hunting but I enjoyed her presence to the fullest nonetheless.  Anyway, she brought me a little note that had the definition of my Charis nickname, Reba (don't ask), in hebrew/greek.  One of the definitions was 'prostration(for sleep)' and I just knew God was speaking to my overwhelmed and tired heart.  That was the very next day after I woke up at three in the morning and couldn't return to my slumber for three solid hours!  I felt like God was just telling me that He cared that I couldn't sleep that night(along with previous nights) and that He wanted to give me rest..and that rest is somewhat part of my identity, which He knew when I got the nickname. CRAZY COOL! RIGHT?  I felt so loved and special as I read that :)

Now, a couple days later I finally got over my Bible neglecting phase and picked it up with a speck of hope that I would find something relevant since I had an impossibly busy day ahead of me and needed spiritual strength.  The verse I turned to touched my heart so deeply.  God just broke all the lies that were keeping me from His holy word and He showed me once again how much He cared about my stressed state.  Here's what I read.

Isaiah 43:1-5

43 But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
    he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you.
³ For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
    Cush and Seba in exchange for you.
⁴ Because you are precious in my eyes,
    and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
    peoples in exchange for your life.
⁵ Fear not, for I am with you;
    I will bring your offspring from the east,
    and from the west I will gather you.



This made me tear up a bit.  I was blown away that the exact word, "overwhelm" was written because I have literally used that word twenty times this week in my thoughts/speech to describe what I was going through.  God totally met me through His word and showed me how deeply He cares about every detail of my life and how He loves me more than I can ever imagine.  Thank you Lord for answering my prayer! <3

life transitions kill me.

It is currently 5:12 am.  I have only been getting about 6 hours (or less) of sleep every night for the past week and I feel like I'm dying!  It's summer for crying out loud and I have plenty of time to sleep.  My body just won't allow such a thing.  Last night, I went to bed at 10 thinking I would get a long catching up on my rest...but no. My body decides to wake up at 3 and stay awake for the next..who knows how long.  Can you tell I'm bitter? Please, Lord have mercy on me and help me go to sleep.

So, yeah.  The cause of this lack of sleep is my current life transition.  I'm moving out of Charis on Saturday(3 days) and I am just OVER to the WHELMED.  I have a million things on my mind.  It just snuck up on me so fast.  I mean, I'm so ready to move and super excited, It's just that I don't handle change well and I suffer terribly when I'm not in a regular routine.

As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that I need to just lay everything down at Jesus' feet.  Trying to do life by myself without him SUCKS!

Dear Father God,
Please take all of these burdens I'm trying to bear myself.  Please help me to know that you are my strength when I'm weak.  Please help me to seek you first no matter what "I have to do" for each day.  Help me to trust you in this transition and to recover from my sleep deprivation.  I give all of my worries to you right now.  Thank you that you love me and you care.  Thank you for being with me through all of life's changes.  I love you.  In Jesus' name, Amen.