Looking back to the shadows
I'm so thankful for the low times because it makes me recognize the wonder of life when God lifts me out of darkness. I was so depressed last spring. I remember journaling about it because I knew that God would bring me out of it and I wanted to remember what He brought me from.
March 18th, 2016
"I feel extremely alone and depressed and sad. I know without a doubt that God is still working but it doesn't take away the pain and confusion and hollowness."
"I feel empty. I desperately need to be filled."
Prayers
"Lift me out of the pit."
"Fill my empty places."
"Speak to me."
"Fill me."
"Remind me who I am."
"Remind me why I am here."
"Restore my joy."
March 22nd, 2016
"I am depressed. Life has lost it's meaning. I will be getting my MS degree in 9 months now and I don't even care. I want to go home. The past few days, I have been in tears whenever my mind is not distracted by school work or rotations. I'm moving in life but I feel dead inside. I feel so alone. I am struggling to believe I will regain abundant life."
"When I first came here, I was so excited for all the opportunities and new experiences and new people I would meet and all the ways God would use me and now, it all just feels meaningless."
"I know that the Lord is faithful and that when He does restore my soul, I can look back and see where He brought me from."
REVIVAL
I can say with full confidence that I have been lifted from the pit, my joy has been restored, my empty places are filled, I remember who I am, I remember why I am here. I am actually more joyful, more myself, more alive than before the dark place. I don't know if I would have arrived at this place if it hadn't of been for the trials I went through. Oftentimes, something has to die, or torn away, before something new can come forth.
